Missionary Cartel

Dear Journal,

I bet you didn't know that there was a missionary Cartel did you?

I was turned over to my trainer today Elder Hackamatic. Pretty cool guy, he kind of looks like William H Macy, only with glasses!!

So I no sooner brought my suitcases into my new apartment when this elder came walking in the door. He was just like a used car salesman. He was giving me all sorts of compliments and advice like we had known each other for years.

Well before I knew it I was the proud owner of a bike that had probably been passed down through the years by several missionaries, oh well, it will get me where I need to go.

Anyway the missionary cartel scores another victim, now that I have had a chance to think about it I'm fairly certain I got taken and I could have bought a pretty nice bike for what I paid, live and learn.

The Prez

Dear Journal,

I met the Prez today. President Cookiecutter.

He seems like a cool enough guy, very mellow and thoughtful.

We had so great viddles, his wife is an awesome cook. But I guess this is the first real meal that I have had since the MTC so just about anything would be great.

I get to stay here at his house for tonight and then tomorrow I meet my comp. they haven't told us anything about where were are heading or who will be training us but I'm sure that it'll all be good.

Till tomorrow!

Highest Point in Florida

Dear Journal,

Well I arrived safe and sound, although that Fat guy I was sitting next to kept ripping stinkies all the way here. I think that everyone around us thought it was me. I kept getting dirty looks from people.

You know in my 19 years on this big bouncing ball I have seen some really cheesy stuff but the AP's (Assistants to the President) that picked us up from the Airport had cheese running out of every orifice.

I know that they were just trying to help us get used to the idea that we were now missionaries here but man they were really laying it on.

At one point when we were going over an overpass one of them said "We are now at the highest point in Florida" I wonder how many times he's said that before?

Oh well, I'm here and I guess were off to see the Prez now.